


Steve Visits the Batcave

by TheRogueHuntress



Series: All of Space and Time [2]
Category: Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, DCU, Doctor Who, Wonder Woman (2017)
Genre: Crossover, F/M, Humor, Post-Wonder Woman (2017), Romance, Steve Trevor Lives, Steve Trevor is the Doctor, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-03
Updated: 2017-07-03
Packaged: 2018-11-23 00:10:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11391306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheRogueHuntress/pseuds/TheRogueHuntress
Summary: In which Bruce is bewildered, Diana is a troll, and Clark is alive.Obviously, Steve is a troll too, but that goes without saying.





	Steve Visits the Batcave

Steve likes 2017. It’s exciting, and clever, and filled with many, many metahumans. He’s done a good job at living a quiet life at Diana’s side, as unobtrusively as a pair of immortals can. He's quite happy to let his younger self run around saving the day, although Diana insists it’s time for them to return to the battlefield.

Well, she already has. In all fairness, Superman and Batman needed her help. Useless, the pair of them!

“Just a quick visit to the moons of Apollo?” he begs. “I’ll get us back right on time, I promise.”

Diana crosses her arms across her chest, which only accentuates her magnificent… features, framed by shining gold armour, and she takes Steve’s breath away. “You always say that,” she replies, a hint of amusement in her tone.

“Yes,” Steve says. “And I always take us exactly where we need to be.”

“But that’s not always where we’re meant to be,” Diana retorts. “Now, these are the coordinates for Bruce’s cave.”

Steve grins. “I have always wanted to visit. But shouldn’t we, I don’t know, knock before entering?”

Diana smirks. “Bruce loves surprises. Don’t worry.”

The moment they arrive at the coordinates Diana specified, only seconds later on from when they’d left, the TARDIS shields report heavy artillery fire. Steve pats the console.

“Don’t worry my dear, you’ll be fine,” he whispers, and Diana rolls her eyes. She sticks her head out the door, ducking as what can only be a batarang embeds itself in the inside of the TARDIS.

“Oi!” Steve yells. “She didn’t deserve that!”

“I can look after myself,” Diana snaps.

Steve glares at her. “I wasn’t talking about you.” He pries the batarang out of the wood, chucking it to the ground, and smooths his hand over the dent. A man halfway into body armour is staring at him in bewilderment.

“Diana?” he asks.

“Hello Bruce,” she answers smoothly, stepping around Steve to greet her team mate. “This is my husband, Steve.”

“I suppose you’re Bruce Wayne,” Steve says. He’s not impressed, all things considered.

“Sorry about your… phone booth?” Bruce says. “Although a little warning would have been nice.”

Diana smirks when Steve turns an incredulous gaze upon her, and so Steve huffs, but decides to forgive Bruce. He's magnanimous like that.

“It’s fine, it’s fine.” He ambles over to shake Bruce’s hand. “Interesting set up you’ve got here.”

“Thanks. When you said you had your own ride, I didn’t anticipate that,” Bruce remarks to Diana, and gestures to Steve’s beloved TARDIS.

“Time and Relative Dimension in Space,” Steve says proudly. Bruce strokes a hand over his chin.

“I read a report about something like that a few years back.” He hesitates. “Doctor?”

“That’s me!” Steve replies. “Kind of. Also my dad – it’s complicated. Just call me Steve.”

“Steve Trevor, by any chance?” Bruce says warily. “You’re looking fresh faced for someone born in 1887.”

“I moisturise,” Steve says, and winks. Bruce doesn’t smile, doesn’t even twitch his lips. He’s good.

“Oh fine,” Steve sighs. “The gods were so impressed with my virility that they granted me the gift of eternal life. Are you happy?”

Diana chooses this moment to interrupt. “Steve, stop winding him up. Bruce, he’s an immortal time travelling alien. Now, I presumed you called us here for something important...?”

Bruce blinks, then turns to Diana. “Clark’s alive.”

There’s a beat of silence.

“Obviously,” Steve drawls, when Diana fails to respond. They both stare at him. “What? Surely it was obvious? You did leave him out in the sunlight, right?”

They shake their heads. Steve frowns, then frowns harder.

“Oh no. You buried him, didn’t you?”

Bruce winces.

“He’s Kryptonian! They thrive on the sun’s rays!”

Bruce and Diana exchange a long look.

“He was dead,” Bruce says with finality. “Very dead. No heartbeat, cold to touch, a hole in his chest the size of my fist.”

“Well, I’m not anymore,” a mild voice says. Steve glances over at Clark Kent. He’s in jeans and a plaid shirt, hovering in the entrance to the cave.

“Welcome back, Clark,” Bruce rumbles. He clears his throat. Steve shifts awkwardly. This probably isn’t a conversation Bruce had anticipated ever happening, and certainly not with an audience.

 “I’m sorry about…” He coughs. “I’m sorry.”

Clark arches a brow. “It’s fine. Thank you for looking after my mother.”

“It was the least I could do,” Bruce says solemnly. “Clark, this is Princess Diana of Themyscira.”

“We did not have the opportunity for introductions when we last met,” Diana says.

Clark’s face lights up. “You’re Wonder Woman!” He blushes. “That’s what the press has been calling you, at least.”

Diana smiles, kindly, and Steve remembers when it had been him that was awestruck.

“And I’m Steve, Diana’s husband.” He strides over. “A real pleasure to meet you,” he says, and a faint smile flickers across Clark’s face.

“You too,” Clark says, so honestly genuine Steve wants to bottle it up and save it for a rainy day. Then Clark tilts his head, looking at Steve’s chest in confusion, and utter delight bursts out of Steve.

“Can you hear them?” he asks. He knows that Clark’s powers are amplified by Earth’s yellow sun, but no one knows just how much. “Two hearts,” he announces proudly, and pats his chest. “You’re not the only alien in the room.”

Clark blinks, and startles. “You really do have two hearts!” he exclaims. He squints. “And your lungs – what – how does it all fit?”

“Bigger on the inside,” Steve says, nonchalantly. “So, x-ray vision?” Steve holds his hands behind his back. “How many fingers am I holding up?”

“Four,” Clark says.

“Wrong!” Steve smirks. “It’s actually three. Technically, the thumb only counts as a digit, as it has merely one joint and two phalanges.”

Bruce snorts with what is possibly amusement, while Diana smacks the back of his head. Clark just grins in disbelief.

“It’s nice to know I’m not alone,” Clark says softly.

**Author's Note:**

> Because the Doctor's got three sets of lungs. How else would he manage all that running?
> 
> Hope you enjoyed, and thanks for reading. Find me on [tumblr](https://theroguehuntress.tumblr.com/) if you wanna chat, or feel free to comment!


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